Attached is an article that our son Stephen wrote: (His ability with words never ceases to astound me)! Just wanted to share with each of you!Beyond the flesh that covers our bones... seeping beyond those bones... into the very recesses of our being... dwell wounds from lies... either secretly spoken to us by ourselves, others, or the devil himself. Like a cancer in the lymph system of our body... they infiltrate every part of who we are... distorting the shape and brilliance of the precious pearl that would amaze if ever allowed the light of day. Hugs, Sylvia
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”
...in an attempt to answer "what's wrong with me", I gripped my pen and poured these words.
I can count on six fingers the times within this week that the above phrase has been uttered in my ears. In "expected counseling mode", the reply to such a question ranges in or around the phrase, "there is nothing wrong with you", yet rarely does that convince or change the utterers mind. It is a classic under-statement to merely say the utterer truly believes there is something wrong. The utterer thinks it in their mind, believes it in their mind, convinces it in their mind, dwells on it in their mind, thus, creating the core of their mind. Any failure of any magnitude registers another tidly-wink in the "there is something wrong with me" tablet. Furthermore, being one of the utterers myself, I stand on the soles of the countless that have uttered said phrase. Standing in one's sole doesn't reflect a "I know exactly what you're going through" mentality, yet it signals a common bond of whispering "I've been there, you can lean on me while you answer your own question."
Thus, for investigative purposes, and using the one skill I pretend to possess as a decorator of words, I wrote my answer to my uttered question:
What is this beam in mine eye
that hides and distorts the world?
It is the lie unto thy self
that binds this oysters pearl.
I share my answer realizing that unbelieving a fiction is a grand task. Rejection begins a revolution in the mind that becomes a lie of the grandest scheme. Rejection, inevitably, writes with a permanent marker, "there is something wrong with me" on our frontal lobes, but as seen with my own eyes, permanent marker doesn't really last permanently. I wrote with a blue Sharpie "there is something wrong with me", on my left forearm (I'm righthanded), Tuesday afternoon. As I'm typing this on Friday morning, the "w" in the word "with" is all that smudgingly remains. Not diminishing the tragedies that have led all of us utterers to believe a lie (for some have believed the lies for innumerable years, thus extra-scrubbing may be prescribed) but for sake of a brief thought, the thesis of my science object lesson rendered this: if I don't continue to reapply the permanent marker, the words fade away. In essence, if I discontinue believing my own lie or re-adjust and altar my vantage point, I just may allow my heart, my smile, my worth, my grandness, my most valuable part of me, that part so few have seen because I hid it, that part that I've had locked away for only me to see, that part that is more precious than platinum, that part that God gave only to me - my pearl will amaze all that behold!
End of attempt.
Thank you for reading.
Much love.
I can count on six fingers the times within this week that the above phrase has been uttered in my ears. In "expected counseling mode", the reply to such a question ranges in or around the phrase, "there is nothing wrong with you", yet rarely does that convince or change the utterers mind. It is a classic under-statement to merely say the utterer truly believes there is something wrong. The utterer thinks it in their mind, believes it in their mind, convinces it in their mind, dwells on it in their mind, thus, creating the core of their mind. Any failure of any magnitude registers another tidly-wink in the "there is something wrong with me" tablet. Furthermore, being one of the utterers myself, I stand on the soles of the countless that have uttered said phrase. Standing in one's sole doesn't reflect a "I know exactly what you're going through" mentality, yet it signals a common bond of whispering "I've been there, you can lean on me while you answer your own question."
Thus, for investigative purposes, and using the one skill I pretend to possess as a decorator of words, I wrote my answer to my uttered question:
What is this beam in mine eye
that hides and distorts the world?
It is the lie unto thy self
that binds this oysters pearl.
I share my answer realizing that unbelieving a fiction is a grand task. Rejection begins a revolution in the mind that becomes a lie of the grandest scheme. Rejection, inevitably, writes with a permanent marker, "there is something wrong with me" on our frontal lobes, but as seen with my own eyes, permanent marker doesn't really last permanently. I wrote with a blue Sharpie "there is something wrong with me", on my left forearm (I'm righthanded), Tuesday afternoon. As I'm typing this on Friday morning, the "w" in the word "with" is all that smudgingly remains. Not diminishing the tragedies that have led all of us utterers to believe a lie (for some have believed the lies for innumerable years, thus extra-scrubbing may be prescribed) but for sake of a brief thought, the thesis of my science object lesson rendered this: if I don't continue to reapply the permanent marker, the words fade away. In essence, if I discontinue believing my own lie or re-adjust and altar my vantage point, I just may allow my heart, my smile, my worth, my grandness, my most valuable part of me, that part so few have seen because I hid it, that part that I've had locked away for only me to see, that part that is more precious than platinum, that part that God gave only to me - my pearl will amaze all that behold!
End of attempt.
Thank you for reading.
Much love.
"but for sake of a brief thought, the thesis of my science object lesson rendered this: if I don't continue to reapply the permanent marker, the words fade away."
ReplyDeleteHerein this statement lies a profound truth... No matter what lies have been...placed before us - the real damage is continued over & over when we re-apply as they begin to fade!