SOMETIMES IT'S DARK

Psalm 143:7  “Hear me speedily, O LORD:  my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.”

For the past several years… February and March have been very difficult months for me.  At times it seems as if the darkness is even “darker” during this time.  In 2000 we celebrated daddy’s birthday on March 6 and He went to be with the Lord one week later on March 13.  Then in 2008 on February 4 my mom and I made a dreaded visit to her doctor’s office to get some test results, only to be told that she had cancer and it had spread and metastasized to her liver.  Eighteen days later she went to be with the Lord on March 22. 

Awhile back I heard this story and was moved by it's content: 

There once was a family that consisted of a husband and wife and their little girl. One day, the wife was killed in a terrible car accident. The night of the funeral, after all the family had gone home, the man took his little girl home for the first time with no one else around and they were very lonely. The man tucked his daughter into bed and flipped the light switch. She gasped as he did and cried "Daddy, I'm scared. I can't see you. Can I come sleep in your room?" "Sure, honey" the father said. They climbed into bed and the daddy kissed the little girl goodnight. He reached over and turned the bedside lamp off and the little girl started crying again. "Daddy, it's dark in here, and I can't see you. Are you still here?" "Yes, sweetie I'm still here" the dad reassured her. "Well are you facing me right now?" she inquired in a concerned voice. "Yes, I'm facing you." "Okay, then I think I can fall asleep now." And within a few minutes she was fast asleep.

In the dark of the midnight, the father lay awake. He missed his wife terribly. He was so unsure about the future and how he was going to raise their little girl. His heart was broken and it seemed darker than it had ever been before. Finally, he slipped out of bed and onto his knees. He prayed "Father, It's dark. I can't see you right now… are you still here." He felt the Lord say "Yes, child, I'm still here." "God, I'm scared… are you facing me right now." "Yes, Child, My face is always turned toward you." "Okay, then I think I can go to sleep now." The man crawled back into bed and fell fast asleep with the peace of God in his heart.

Many times at night when my mind is active and my heart breaking… I often ask the Lord:  “Is your face still turned toward me?  It’s really dark for me right now.”

We may even cry out in despair:  "God it seems you are a million miles away.  I can't feel you, I can't see you, and it's so dark!  Is your face turned toward me?" 

Let me assure you of this very thing:  He has His face turned toward you today, and the darker it gets, the closer He becomes.

Isaiah 59:1 “Behold the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither is His ear heavy, that He cannot hear:”  

I Peter 5:7  "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

I want to live with God’s face always toward me.  I want to experience – in the dark of night as well as the light of day, the reality of His constant presence!  

It is in this that I find rest even in my darkest hours.